Your kid’s anxiety? It’s totally normal

Anxiety is a normal human experience, but many parents wonder when to worry about their child's anxiety levels. What is considered normal, and when might your child be too stressed? Let's explore some helpful parenting tips for understanding and managing childhood anxiety. 

Anxiety versus Stress 

Although we often use "anxiety" and "stress" interchangeably, anxiety and stress in kids are often confused. While stress is a normal response to challenging situations, anxiety can be more persistent and intense, sometimes indicating a deeper issue. Understanding the difference helps parents provide appropriate support and seek professional help when necessary. Early intervention is key to managing both effectively. 

What Is Childhood Anxiety? 

Children experience anxiety similarly to adults, feeling both mental and physical distress. However, children are more vulnerable because they know they can't protect themselves as effectively as adults can. This vulnerability can make new and unfamiliar situations more distressing for them. Additionally, children lack many of the coping skills that adults have, making it essential for parents to teach these skills. 

Common Situations That Cause Anxiety in Children 

Unfamiliar and new situations often make children anxious. This can include meeting new people, encountering new animals or machines, going to new places, or starting in a new classroom. Since childhood is filled with new experiences, it can be a particularly distressing time for anxiety-prone children. 

Parenting Tips for Helping Your Child Through Stressful Experiences 

There are many things that parents can do to help their children navigate their anxiety, especially around new experiences. Let’s look at just a few.  

• Build trust: If a child trusts you or the person they are with, they are going to be in a much better position to manage their anxiety. They know that you won’t put them in harm’s way, and what is more, they believe you when you reassure them. There’s so much to be said about building trust with your child, way more than what we have time for here. 
• Prepare them ahead of time: Especially if your child tends to experience anxiety around new situations, make it easier by describing in detail what you’re going to do, where, and with whom. Start days in advance so that they have time to mentally engage and process. Knowledge truly is power in these types of scenarios.
• Validate what they’re feeling: While we may want to try to explain to our children why their anxiety is irrational, that hurts more than helps. Remember that feelings aren’t facts, and they also aren’t something that can be explained away or reasoned with. Help them understand their feelings perfectly normal. Empathize with the distress they’re experiencing and let them know that sometimes you feel the same. Remember, anxiety is our brain and body’s way of telling us that something might be wrong or dangerous. Kids need to learn how to interpret and manage these signals, not to ignore them or dismiss them.
• Be realistic: Sometimes a child’s anxiety is justified. We can’t protect them from everything, as much as we may want to. Never lie to your child if they are going to face something that is scary, hard, or out of their control (such as the death of a family member or a cross-country move). The most important thing in these situations is to reassure them that no matter what, they are loved and valued, and their feelings are valid.