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Why so shy? How to overcome shyness in kids

Health & Happiness

A shy child can seem like they’re missing out on a lot, and many parents wonder what to do with their child’s excessive aversions to peers, strangers, and new situations. As a parent, you want to see your child learn, grow, and develop into their happiest, most fulfilled selves. Unfortunately, when excessive shyness takes over, kids can become stressed and frightened, and it may seem impossible to get them to try anything which might aid their development. That’s why Wondrfly has created this guide to why shy kids exhibit the behaviors they do, and how to curb these behaviors by working together with your child. We want to help your child blossom and open up to new and fun experiences!

 

What Makes My Child So Shy?

Shyness is a natural characteristic of young children in some proportions. A slight general aversion to the unfamiliar is perfectly normal in kids, as it serves to keep them safe! Therefore, if your child shows certain behaviors in stressful, overstimulating situations such as staring at the ground, refusing to speak, or not joining in play, it’s not uncommon and shouldn’t shock you. However, kids who exhibit this behavior all the time, or very frequently, run the risk of not developing important social skills. This can cause their inhibitions to follow them into adulthood, causing them to miss out on their full potential! Read on to find out how you can prevent this.

 

How do I Teach My Child to Be Less Shy?

Conquering shyness is a team effort between you and your child. It begins with resisting the urge to dub your child, “shy”. Don’t let your child hear you describe them this way, as they likely put an enormous amount of significance on your perception of them at this time, since they probably trust you more than anyone else! If they hear you define them in this way, it will limit their perception of themselves, and they’ll find it harder to cope with their shyness, since they view it as an intractable aspect of their personality. Instead, explain to others, if you need to, that your child “warms slowly” to new people and activities. Another big don’t involves forcing your child into new social situations without warning or preparation. Instead, set them up for success by role-playing the new situation before they’re in it, or by starting with small groups and controlled social scenarios.

 

When your child expresses shyness, explain to them that their feelings are normal, and prompt them to use their own words to describe them. Tell them that everyone, including you, feels shy sometimes, but highlight the benefits of overcoming social anxiety, including exciting new experiences and lifelong friendships. Model appropriate behavior in public for them by being polite to strangers, and introducing them to your friends and explaining how you met. Teach them a blueprint for making friends and acquaintances of their own. Phrases such as, “Hello I’m X. What’s your name?” and, “May I play too?” will help build their confidence in new and unfamiliar situations. Encourage and praise them whenever they attempt to be friendly to increase their confidence further.

 

If your child’s problem with shyness is so persistent and distressing that none of these tactics seem to work, it’s important to seek out a pediatric psychologist or therapist to provide expert help.

 

The Best Books for Kids About Overcoming Shyness

One of the best ways to broach any subject with your child is to read to them about it! Reading together helps you bond with your child while teaching them valuable literacy skills and life lessons. Check out this list of Wondrfly’s favorite storybooks about living with and conquering shyness and inhibitions!

 

What to Do When You Feel Too Shy: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Social Anxiety

This excellent, award winning book on social anxiety is interactive as well as interesting, and based on tried-and-true cognitive-behavioral techniques. An excellent self-help workbook for kids and parents to use together, this book uses the metaphor of circus clowns to teach kids that a little attention won’t necessarily hurt them!

 

Willow’s Whispers

A quiet young girl creates a magic megaphone that allows her to be heard in this cute little tale of building confidence. This book will encourage kids to speak up and make their needs and emotions heard in words.

 

The Shy Creatures

In this tale of shifting perspective, a young girl dreams of becoming a doctor for big, scary, monsters, but naturally feels intimidated! She then learns that all creatures, no matter how fearsome they seem, possess insecurities of their own.

 

When No One is Watching

This charming story of a young girl and her best friend opens shy kids’ eyes to the incredible benefits of making friends, even if you just make one really good one! The protagonist feels like hiding whenever eyes are on her, but soon discovers that in the company of her best friend, she can behave in public as though no one is watching!

 

The Invisible Boy

In this sensitive and heartwarming story, the titular invisible boy is the first to extend a gesture of friendship to a new student. This gesture pays off, and he finds himself working together on a project with the new kid, which gives him the opportunity to become “visible” to his classmates after all.

 

We hope this guide to decreasing your child’s shyness is helpful to you and your child. Excessive shyness can cause kids to miss out on a lot of fun and growth-promoting activities. Conquering it is something you can achieve together with your child. Nothing builds kids’ confidence more than overcoming a scary situation to find it wasn’t as scary as they thought! Once your child is ready, one of the best ways to do this is by enrolling them in a new activity with other kids their age. Why not search Wondrfly’s terrific selection of kids’ activities near you, so you can find something that will enhance your child’s social development, today!

 

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