Based on your filters 
Kids have ideas of their own and aren’t afraid to show it. That’s just part of why we love them. They always say what’s on their mind, even if it’s not the most polite, informed, or rational thing. It certainly keeps us on our toes and laughing. Life with kids is full of little surprises. To celebrate those little surprises, and the fact that most kids have no filter whatsoever, we’ve pulled the top ten funniest kid quotes of the week from Twitter. Sit back, relax (for a moment), and enjoy!
4 just told me "butter is the best part" and I'm not sure if he was talking about toast or life in general, but either way I'm not disagreeing with him.
— Annie Way (@Anniewritess) February 17, 2022
7-year-old: My spelling words are boring again this week.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 16, 2022
Me: What words would be exciting?
7: Swear words.
I went to say goodnight to 5 and she asked me to leave as I was “too many people” and I’ve never related to her more
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) February 16, 2022
*leaning in to kiss my daughter goodnight*
— Burning Mom (@MomOnFire) February 16, 2022
Daughter: Have you been eating my Cheez-its?
'
After my kids have been extremely loud
— Michael Vogel (@MichaelVogel1) February 17, 2022
10yo: I have an announcement to make!
Me: No
10yo: it’s something I learned in school
Me: fine
10yo: BOYS ARE STUPID!
Me: that’s rude, and the teacher did NOT teach that
10yo: I said I learned it in school, I didn’t say from a teacher
This morning, there was one blueberry waffle left and both kids wanted it so I gave them each half, along with more breakfast.
— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) February 16, 2022
5 quietly ate his.
7 threw a half hour meltdown that ended with her saying “I WILL GET REVENGE ON THIS ENTIRE FAMILY EXCEPT FOR THE CATS!”
Busted my 10 y/o daughter finishing my ice cream and she said, “sorry, I saw it and I missed you because you weren’t here so I had a bite and then I got carried away.” I think she just began her career in politics.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) February 17, 2022
My 5yo told me she thinks I’m turning 50 tomorrow.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) February 17, 2022
I’m turning 34.
My son: Mama, you’re so pretty!
— OyVeyLady (@OyVeyLady) February 16, 2022
Me: Thank you!
Him: But why do you have so many holes in your face? It’s like you were hit by a ton of tiny asteroids.
Me: There it is
I picked 8yo up from school this afternoon, and she said “dang daddy, you just letting all your grey show today.”
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) February 16, 2022
I’ll be in the corner if you need me this evening.
Categories