The 10 Absolute Best Things Kids Have Said This Month

We know as well as you do that parenting is full of surprises. Sometimes it’s impossible to predict what will come out of your child’s mouth next. As they explore and experience the world, their observations are occasionally hilariously blunt, novel, or silly. Here’s a selection of the funniest tweets we’ve seen this month from parents whose kids say the darndest things! For example:

1. This little girl who takes issue with the ways of the world

Younger daughter: Why do big humans get to do whatever they want? Why do we have to do whatever you say?#thingskidssay

— Songbae (@SongbaeLee) November 3, 2021

1. This little sass-master.

So baby kal is getting ready for school today… she asks why I use a cup to measure our golden doodle’s food. I responded to make sure she doesn’t get fat. Her response; “ohhh ok, so she doesn’t get like you?” Lulz #thingskidssay #kids #awkward #funny

— Kalsador | Pulse ™️ (@kalsador) November 10, 2021

1. This biology prodigy.

My kid just said that “convertible cars” are called that because “when the car has no roof, it’s like the animals without spines- the convertabrates” 😂 #ThingsKidsSay

— Dr Anita Goh 🧠 🇦🇺 🇲🇾 She/her (@DrAnitaGoh) November 1, 2021

1. This child with high standards.

Getting 4 out of the bath last night:

“Daddy, why is my towel not warm tonight?”

I’m clearly not meeting the high standards my child expects of me! 🙈#gaydads #lgbtparents #thingskidssay

— Daddy on the Edge (@daddyonthe_edge) November 10, 2021

1. This little glutton for punishment.

I'm a crossing guard; I told a 12 yo girl that one of the white crosswalk lines was electrified and would give her a shock. She immediately proclaimed, "I'm going to step on every white line."#thingskidssay #kids

— Michael Lyman (Magnum Arts) (@magnumarts1) November 9, 2021

1. This vampire child.

My 3yo: turn the lights off!
Me: the lights are off. That's the sun!
Him: you're so rude#thingskidssay #ugh

— My uterus, my choice! (@ericamoreno928) November 9, 2021

1. These scaredy-cats.

4-year-old: I'm only afraid of ONE thing!
Other kid: What?
4YO: SPIKES!!!
OK: I'm afraid of spikes and monsters.
4YO: Monsters aren't real though. #thingskidssay #preschool #spikes

— The Aunt Nanny (@theauntnanny) November 9, 2021

1. This child of the digital age.

After almost 12 years of parenting I finally got the question. "Mommy, what's a phonebook?" Why do children do this to their parents? #parenting #thingskidssay

— Dr. Lisa - Holistic Wellness (@LisaLeslieW) November 6, 2021

1. This creative time-teller.

A conversation between my 5 year-old son and our house-droid.

Ace (with authority): "Alexa, set the timer for 54 minutes and 64 seconds"

Alexa: "Timer set for 55 minutes and 4 seconds."#ThingsKidsSay #AlexaTricks #PoliteCorrection #WhoHasAuthority

— Gary Dennington (@GaryDennington) November 10, 2021

1. And finally, this little stinker.

3yo: Why did the house move?
Me: It didn't?
3yo: Maybe Daddy farted.#parenting pic.twitter.com/abQMCUPMov

— Gideon 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ (@Lilacia512) November 6, 2021