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Here it is! Our weekly collection of the most entertaining parenting tweets of the week. This collection is super-sized for maximum giggle fuel-- so get ready to laugh!
11 y/o daughter now growing skeptical of holidays citing how “ridiculous” it is that a groundhog controls seasons but says Valentine’s Day is still cool “because we get chocolate.
NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) February 2, 2022
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Me: You have to wear pants while at the table! People don’t want to see your butt while they eat.
4: People are coming over?
Me: No I’m people. I don’t want to see your butt while I eat.
Mom Meh Dearest🤦🏼♀️ (@mommeh_dearest) February 4, 2022
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10yo: Daddy, where do narwhals come from?<
Me: Narwhal Mart
And it was at this moment 10yo learned to stop asking us questions she can easily look up herself…
Michael Vogel (@MichaelVogel1) February 4, 2022
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The following has been the progression of what I have been calling my kids when they're tired grumpy:
- Grumpy
- Grumps
- Grumply
- Grumples
- Grumpelstiltskin
Totally normal word progression...
MDMRN (@MDMRN) February 2, 2022
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4yo: Are you mad at me?
Me: [exasperated] No.
4yo: I know, you are frus-ter-ated.
Me: That's right.
4yo: Well, that's what happens when you have kids.
Dr Benedon (@Benedon3) February 4, 2022
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Presented bedtime snack to my 2yo but it's really just reheating the dinner she refused to eat 90 min ago.
MommyingHard (@MommyingHard) February 4, 2022
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“If you keep copying me… I’m going to FIRE you dad”
FreeRangeMattress (@free_mattress) February 3, 2022
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Kids show: what instrument is shaped like a triangle?
5: the triangle, you idiot
Marissa 💛💚 (@michimama75) February 3, 2022
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Me: Life hack...when I burn the grilled cheese I can use a cheese grater to get rid of the burned part.
Husband: Why don;t you just not burn their grilled cheese?
Me: You;re making lunch tomorrow.
The REAL Messy Mom (@TheREALMessyMom) February 4, 2022
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4 (tattling): mooommmmmm! She called me a tattletale!
Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) February 3, 2022
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My son: You’re not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
My daughter, Burn Queen: Well, you’re like a Spoon in a drawer!
OyVeyLady (@OyVeyLady) February 3, 2022
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My 14 yo just told me I was embarrassing her. We were the only two people in the room.
Parenting achievement unlocked.
Upside Dad (@UpsideDad) February 3, 2022
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7: Mom, do you want to hear the longest dream I had?
Me: Why don’t you write it down so I can really absorb it. But first, tell your dad.
@love.you.memeit (@LMemeit) February 1, 2022
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Five days ago my 6yo was wearing footie pajamas and calling me mama and now he sleeps shirtless and tells me I’m “sus”. What is happening?!?!
Bre (@fullofmonsense) February 3, 2022
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My son has a make up class for soccer and my daughter heard makeup class and started to cry because she loves makeup more and life is so unfair.
I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) February 3, 2022
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My 5 year old is currently very mad at me and walking around muttering, “When I grow up I’m gonna do whatever I want, no matter what momma says.”
I don’t think he expected me to be cool with it.
Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) February 3, 2022
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Why did he have to see his shadow, why
-my kid, pacing back and forth muttering to himself, definitely not being overly dramatic about the whole groundhog thing
meghan (@deloisivete) February 2, 2022
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